pes & ellen ly discover the aussie way

Home of the Small Sand Doll

doll diaries

CHOOK IN BOOTS

PES LIVINGSTONE DOES NORTHERN QUEENSLAND

POTTY AND THE ORB WEB WEAVER

UNPACKING THE TENNESSEE REDNECKS

sandy & con sample a few drinks at the bar

CON & SANDY SAMPLE A FEW DRINKS AT THE MINI BAR

ELLEN-LY MET THE POM POM GIRLS FROM SOUTH AFRICA

The European rabbit is Australia's most destructive mammal pest. Western Australians didn't like Victorian meat and built the longest fence in the world to keep their sheep, cows and rabbits out.

Aussie Slang

Sydney's obsession with

tight-lipped sheep & bridge building

continues today -

even on the beach

ADVENTURE II aussies love to drink coke and beer

PES & ELLEN-LY discover THE AUSSIE WAY??

with a visit to the famous harbour city of Sydney.

Many years ago the Prince of Vladmir built a fancy wooden fortress in

Russia and named it a Kremlin. The pony riding Mongols from the east rode in, didn't like it and burnt it down.

Ivan the Terrible built an ornate wooden building and it too was burnt to the ground. Finally the Russian Orthodox constructed a stone structure, stuck a cross and a chimney on it and called it a church. It was to become the pillar of the community along with a newly painted square...-Moscow become a city and capital of Russia.

Across the Atlantic Ocean, prominent Dutch ruler, Peter Styvesant was forcing people to attend church on Sunday, eat Edam and Gouda Cheese and smoke crude filtered new york the early years

cigarettes. The British landed, conquered, tossed Styvesant out and directed the people to indulge earl grey with their cheese and crackers and only smoke British Tobacco.

The Dutch regained control and the people were given high rise apartments to live and brightly coloured clogs to wear to church. New York was called, New Orange, and the navel was to remain covered and unpierced, especially on Sundays.

Finally the British took back control and New York city was free to lead the world down the narrow lanes of Manhattan, free trade, global banks and ghettoism.

Pes was born in Russia and Ellen-ly in Tennessee USA. They discovered that Sydney's early history was not like that of Moscow or New York. Sydney was created by the British to exploit cheap labour in an underdeveloped country. An economic practice still continued in parts of the world to this day.

The early campfires of Australian aboriginal tribes soon sydney cove

dimmed to the dampness of leaking effluent on the shores of Port Jackson. George Jackson was on the first group of old ships that sailed from England with loads of rotting cargo, noxious weeds, European pests and a few under fed convicts. The officials of the first fleet needed to name everything they trod on and saw after themselves. It was not long before they ran out of people names for streets, hills, lookouts, trees, postboxes, bays, points, chairs, rivers and ferries. In the face of disaster and the ole English tradition, a new bridge was needed and a tower to house the family jewels.

The Centrepoint Tower was built and a steel arch was constructed over the Parramatta River to carry a sewage pipe from the posh tentsites of the northern bank. Later a freeway was added that facilitated easier access to the pristine northern beaches for wealthy merchants, bankers and government officials who built lavish multi-storied weekenders on the edge of sand dunes. European rats who mastered the art of tightrope balance when they came ashore off the British ships, escaped paying the bridge rednecks set fire to english bridge before it is paid off....

rednecks set fire to english bridge before it is paid off....

toll by scuttling along the rails under the roadway of the new bridge. On occasion, the bushrangers of the western suburbs would consume too much moonshine and set about lighting up the bridge as a celebration to all that is British. Many rats would suffer severe burns and even fall to their deaths in the murky waters below.

A few candy shops, a bank, pub, barber and brothel were built at Sydney cove; twenty four hour trading was introduced; sugar became the main crop and rum was the only drink available at the bar. An Irishman invented the lightbulb but there were no electricity generators to power it. Methane gas and candles were used for illumination.

The aborigines chased the white mans merinos into the scrub and were soon barbecuing rack lamb and knitting brightly coloured sweaters and pull overs for the cold season.

Too much water was being used to pyrmont bridge sydney

clean plates, pots and flushing loos - the Englishman's obsession with squatting rather than soaping took on new meaning. The great drought of 1794, dried up creeks, dams and toilets and soap was in short supply. The Aborigines made a formal complaint to the pollution authority saying that the whiteman's pungent body odour was impacting on their environment - and scaring off their main source of food - the wombat.

Sydney Cove's primitive pottery sewerage pipes were suffering blockages and back flow and were encrusted with salt, clay and newspapers. Rats were having to drench in mossie repellent before venturing out at night.

A new way had to be found.

A bridge was needed. Engineers decided to construct a unique opening bridge from gum trees, steel and sandstone, and the Pyrmont Bridge allowed rats easy access to the warehouses, drains and industrial areas of Pyrmont, Ultimo and Glebe.

A prominent Irish engineer accidentally fell into a wombats burrow one night on his way home from the Blood and Hound happy hour. In the morning he became disoriented in the massive tunnel network and was eaten by a crocodile near Bondi. An Egyptian style monument was erected on the site where one of his bones was found.

The population of rats grew in massive proportions until a plague was formed. The British had run out of people names for new things so they called the epidemic - the 'Black Plague'. White rats were deeply offended and numerous claims were submitted to the race discrimination board.

Tents quickly turned to high rise apartments, shopping mauls and Asian tourists looking for gold, mangos, stuffed koalas and cheap saucepans.

Pes searched for the great depression and wondered why a recess was not like a recession?????

ellen tells pes that a big leaf just flew past and was carrying a grub

traffic on Sydney streets is control so no one can speed

The sanddolls paused to reflect in Hyde Park, hoping to spot the giant wombat and the gay mardi gras - instead they saw a stainless steel shop trolley, a Chinese girl and some sandwiches wrapped in plastic. Down the big street were a lot of noisy cars and some triple coloured lights on poles and a bus with folding doors that opened when it stopped.

Ellen-ly bought a pink pom pom from a little shop in Oxford Street before continuing to the waterfront. The dolls passed many strange shapes and buildings on their way down Macquarie street. opera

Pes chatted to the dribbling pig and rubbed its nose near the old hospital. She was disappointed that the Bolshoi ballet weren't performing in town. Ellen-ly was concerned that one side of the Opera House building was coloured white and the other side pink - maybe that was the side viewed from Oxford Street????

pes and ellen relax on the waterside promenade

Frank Sinatra whistled Kylie Minogue tunes over the loud speaker, ferries splashed and grunted against rotting wooden pylons, seagulls slashed each other in the desparate fight for the last dropped chip.

A Macdonald's sign flashed the icon of the living and all was well in Circular Quay. Pes thought the Quay had eaten too many meat pies and lost its shape - to her it was just a big square with a glass lift to some smelly green and yellow porta loos on the side of the road overhead.

aboriginal buskers playing ancient musical instrument

The origins of Aussie music date back over 200 years to when the aborigines, noticing the British ships sailing into Sydney Cove, quickly warmed their didgeridoos and set up busking at Circular Quay. Today, many busker's can still be seen waiting for the second fleet to arrive.

The British thought cuddly little rabbits would make ideal house pets in the new Australia, but the rodents soon broke their collars and escaped the notorious flea drop tablets to roam the wilds. During the wet season there was nothing for them to do beside stay in the burrows and mate. In a short time they were in plague proportion. There were no British names left to formalise the plague. Perhaps they could have named the plague after the German King. - The King George Bunny Plague?

An Englishman decided the answer was to import London rats so they would eat the wayward rabbits and eradicate them.

A shipload of rats made the arduous journey from London just in time for the wet season. The rabbits mated with the rats and a new endemic species was introduced. Aboriginals camped on the ridge near the old cemetery were the first to sight the new and strange animal one sunset. It had huge hind legs shaped like their boomerangs so they called the animal a kangaroo.

When Governor Macquarie first saw the Kangaroo, he thought it flew through the air like an overweened ferret and decided to commemorate a colonial airline in recognition of its grace and speed. A new bridge was built over Long Gully in celebration. A suspension bridge with imposing medieval sandstone towers complete with mobile phone transmitters. The Aboriginals of Long Gully found the new sandstone towers offensive and an invasion of their privacy- they submitted numerous complaints to the Telecommunications Ombudsman but little was done by authorities of the day.

Later politicians named the airlink between London and Sydney the 'Kangaroo Leg......and built the Captain Cook Bridge at Botany Bay in memory of the inaugrial flight.

South of the Opera House on the site of Sydney's first vineyard and organic snail farm, is the Botanical gardens, a 35 hectacre spread of exotic trees, ferns, flys, plants and home to a million fruit bats. Pes and Ellen sat a while and watched the upside down bats drop all types of body secretions on people passing on the paths underneath. The weather was very hot and the dolls were glad they wore hats.

Convicts used tender set areas called precincts

Strangely, the bats led the two to the monorail. Pes was concerned that the toilet on the monorail may flush directly onto those under. Ellen pointed out that the waste probably dribbled onto the track and ran downhill to a crack before dripping to the ground and collected for processing and recycled use in the Archibald "Fountain.

pes & ellen look for leaks under the monorail

many figures are frozen by the fountain - must be the water

Pes and Ellen saw a Chinese dragon, and old house, a group of gay lesbians, a carrela bird, a smiley face, a wicked weasel and a big slug. It was Christmas and they thought Darling Harbour was a good spot for a fairy penguin festival.

They searched the wharf to tell the fairy penguin and found the HMAS Endeavour hiding near a whitewashed lighthouse just past the weasel. Ellen-ly thought Captain Cook may be using one of the green and yellow porta loos located nearby before he set off to bring back the second fleet.

Pes wondered if a submarine could stay under water as long as a water rat?

Ellen bought a pretty pink pom pom at Pyrmont and Pes wondered if the rats lived with the weasel at Darling Harbour. Maybe they watched movies at the imax theatre and ate popcorn and nuts in the darkness. pes & ellen at darling harbour sydney

They sat on the wharf near the big boat and watched the toad fish play in the shadow of take away food shops. The Aborigines called the place, Tumbalong, and gathered shellfish and listened to concerts by visiting artists from up north. British tempers raged when Aborigines staged a three day corroboree and their electrified didgeridoos drowned out the prim monotones anzac bridge under construction

of the BBC.

A large steel shed was built and called an entertainment centre, pes & ellen at the wharf sydney

and performers weren't electrocuted anymore during the wet season. Some old Irish railway lines were pulled up, a derelict wharf repainted, a Chinese garden planted and Governor Ralph Darling had a Harbour named after him.

A modern cable stayed Bridge was constructed to celebrate the birth of prestressed concrete and the new harbour. A lavish, very expensive project to replace the old Glebe Island Bridge to entice marathon runners to savour the wonderful view and the delicate aroma of the nearby fish market.

The new bridge was eight bullock lanes wide and would become one of Sydney's greatest olympic landmarks.

The dolls watched two thousand Asians walk past and a few loud talking north Americans carrying babies and souvenirs of Abraham Lincoln, before deciding to go their separate ways. Arranging to meet later under the big clock in Martin Place. Pes wondered about the 'Aussie' who invented thongs. What did people wear who didn't have a big toe or a foot?

Ellen Ly went off to look for designer pom poms in the elaborate and opulent Romanesque Queen Victoria Building, while Pes continued her search for the elusive rat in the shadowy sewers of the old convict city. She wondered about the man that named some of Sydney's drains: Diodedox, Gobbledox, Trioxide, Transgrinder, Chicken Pox ...........????? She thought of Con and oysters. Of split garbage bins, custard in cardboard cartons and of all the bits people flush down their sinks.

sniff sniff... it that a weasel or meat pie

In the afternoon, when the big clock showed 11am, Pes and Ellen-ly reunited near the big tree that the aborigines decorated to celebrate the stopping of the whitemans big clock. Ellen had bought a glittering Parisian pom pom by Yves Saint Laurent. Pes thought that a little extravagant and told her she had not found the rats or the weasel, despite discovering many underground tunnel entrances.

With an abundance of sugar and potatoes, early confectionary makers at Sydney Cove let the spirit of the new land overtake their artistry and good health; wheel shaped lollypops, spud candy, rum toffees, Macadamia convict fudge, chocolate milkshakes, Darrell Lea rocky road and tomato flavoured m & m's..........Many Aborigines suffered constipation after eating the whitemans ice cream and cheese cake and dare not taste their chocolate substance. The Government took offense to their dislike of dessert and forced them to vacate their prime waterfront land to build a Lunatic Asylum. Many British were mad before they landed in Australia, others went mad with the heat and eucalyptus fumes.

Aborigines were forced further up the Parramatta River past the sewerage farm at Ryde, eventually settling on a reserve at Bourke. In order to divert public attention the authorities built another bridge at Gladesville and had a BBQ, then another fancy bridge at Tarban Creek with an art and craft market and yet another bridge at Fig Tree Creek where a freeway and a National Park to Gosford was planned.

Pes didn't think much of bridges and Ellen just wanted more pom poms, in fact they were so busy looking for rats and the open air goal on the high side of The Rocks they did not notice the Harbour Bridge behind them.

Thank god we have hats and used the 35 plus sunscreen...

No matter where they looked, there were no rats or chained convicts. Ellen noticed there were no rat droppings either. Pes said that the big vacuum sweeper had probably been along and sucked up the droppings, rats and the convicts. They searched under the Bridge, behind the hotel, through the Argile Cutting and by the cast iron verandah.

ellen & pes look for rats The Rocks Sydney

The waggish weasel watched from the tall grass, he thought Pes was a little weird looking for rats and convicts. They were all asleep during the day and only came out at night like possums, owls and garbage trucks. In fact if the wayward weasel himself were discovered in daylight he would be caught, caged and quickly deported. As Australia is one of only two continents in the world where weasels don't inhabit. Europeans brought rabbits, rats, ferrets, convicts, cricket and volvos to Australia, but left the poor weasel at home. A few clever ones managed to sneak in amongst the sable, vole and mink of the wealthy. And like the Tasmanian Tiger, the Wahroonga Weasel remains a myth.

weasels are naturally inquistive creatures - especially when they see little sand dolls roaming the streets

rats are immortalised in glass show cases in the modern rocks area of Sydney

Shadows appeared on the cold side of concrete buildings as they reached skyward for sunlight. Sydney reminded Ellen-ly of Nashville, except she did not see any tractors or bluegrass strumming rednecks from the South. She thought the Sydney Opera House was a bit more fancy and was disappointed that Willee Nelson and George Jones weren't singing there.

Pes thought she would like to take some of these coloured rings home...

They sat on the Olympic rings to watch the marathon, but everyone just walked past. Ellen thought Australians were a little lazy and probably ate too many meat pies to run. She told Pes she liked the red ring best and wanted a Pom Pom that colour. Pes said the blue was the nicest and the black matched her feet.

They sat under a light near Sydney Tower and wondered if the Aborigines ever desired to be fashionable and wear long red coats, massive pointed hats, oversized wellie boots and wax their chests and legs. Pes wondered if Paddington Bear and Monty Python emigrated to Australia under the assisted migration policy. She thought of Winnie the Pooh and underground sewers and if he lived in Sydney with the rats. She wondered if Biggles met Blinky Bill, drank cold Fosters and ate the magic pudding, on his adventure down under.

Ellen thought Pes wondered too much and it might be best to get indoors before nightfall in case the ghost of Steve Irwin was unchained from the Hyde Park Barracks. She did not want to be eaten by the Bondi crocodile.

Back at the hotel they recounted the adventures of the day to Sticky while the fairy penguins gathered in Darling Harbour. As convicts applied for a Certificate of Freedom, Sydney siders applied for a Certificate to Leave. Aboriginals were rarely given notice to evict.