Hone of the Small Sand Doll
Con & Sandy
doll diaries
Adventures with Con and Sandy
coming soon
some dolls gamble others like vino
then others just wake up seedy
not so stable on the feet
A starry night over the town on the bustling Gold Coast.
Sandy receiving the award for most inebriated sand doll at the illustrious Mellow Fringe Swilling Festival. An annual event held to co-incide with the equally famous Octoberfest.
At the Red Club Bar awards party.
Con and Sandy as Multi cultural ambassadors
for the North African duck hunting society photographed at a conference held in Seol Korea 2006.
Dolls are usually associated with identifiable structures like dolls houses - some ornate
some grand and some plastic. Sandy and Con prefer to socialise in fashionable establishments,
like the Jim Beam Club Bar.......
..
The glamorous job of content monitor, sometimes lands these two in unglamorous positions.
Sandy thought the blue one looked like the colour of the taxi, but Con could not stop talking about the oysters he saw near the yellow cheese at the Queen Vic Markets.
Con checked the blue one to see if it was a reflection from the Yarra River. He said the oysters from the Yarra tasted like Greek food from the South Bank.
Golley is shocked to see himself, let alone seeing oysters from the Yarra River.
|
Long before Chanting Mountain Monks tempered with the sweet nectars fermented from fruits,
dolls were blending and brewing and drinking potent cocktails, sniffing corks and basking in
drunken states from alcoholic fumes.
Far from a mellow communal wine, dolls created an efficacious and sophisticated
predecessor to what we call today, Liqueurs. During the early days of the Rum Rebellion,
dolls played an important role in maintaining quality and supply. The notorious Caribbean barrel
route, prominent in the history books as a thriving merchant route rivaling that of the Arab
Frankincense path, was controlled by shady underworld dolls who escaped from the Devils
Island penal colony.
There were numerous gangster wars fought off the coast of Martinique and many lives were lost.
The Spaniards hated the French and the French hated the English.
Discontent spread to the mainland, where Inca Dolls were forced to retreat up the Amazon and
back to the Andes. They took with them enough rum to help keep warm in the winter.
The Spanish could not see the funny side to the missing beverage and set off on donkeys into the dark jungles of the lower Andes to conquer the Incas and bring the rum back.
Many Inca dolls were beheaded but some made it to the west coast and set sail in crude canoes.
The canoes laden with precious rum barrels, floated precariously with the currents for weeks, ever buoyant, eventually beaching on the shores of Sydney Harbour in Australia.
The British and the first fleet had not yet arrived.
The engineering Inca's quickly built simple stone pubs in the traditional British style and stocked huge underground cellars with the now matured and very dark rum from the Caribbean.
The first fleet arrived in Sydney Harbour just in time. All the rum they had carried on board from
England, was either drunk or had gone off and could only be used as flavouring for cooking stews and mash pies. The culture of the first fleet was one of thirst in the hot dry climate of the southern continent.
The inca pubs were thriving with trade and al fresco areas had to be set up outside to accommodate patrons.
Today, Sydney has changed a lot.
The Spanish chased the Aztecs to Australia, burnt down their pubs, drank all the rum and confiscated
the antique Latin American barrels. They loaded their ships with sheep and boomerangs and set sail never to be seen again.
Woolworths took over the Aussie rum trade and attached liquor outlets to their fancy food and
produce markets. Cars as transport were unheard of, so it made sense to buy flour and milk and
rum all at the one stop.
Dolls didn't have the power management skills to trade in retail food and could not compete with the
ruthless monopoly. Woolworths, or their supply of cheap Mexican beer.
But dolls can still be seen at the mini bar, checking labels and emptying bottles.
Testing the percentage content and that caps twist in the correct direction for the southern
hemisphere.
Dolls play a vital role in keeping the country secure - especially from cheap liquior imports.
Con and Sandy ponder the dark labeling of a Russian and American made bottle.
Sandy wonders if this new blend will compliment the taste of Aussie oysters.
Sandy tells Con the vertigo is making him a bit wobbly - maybe he ate too many oysters
before taking the lift to the 49th floor. They both thought it was a strange place to put the bar.
Con and Sandy waited for the South Africans to turn up for cricket at the MCG, but they didnt see them.
Con explains that 8 dozen oysters can fit inside a guitar.
More adventures with Con and Sandy coming soon.....
doll diaries
Petite in the woods - coming soon
Part 2 Basheir to Bundaberg coming soon
Adventure V - A Scary encounter with the hairy Tweed Valley Troll coming soon
Adventure VI - Pes and Ellen-ly meet the Dolly Llama coming soon
PBTMS WORLD TOURS
